Parenting with Love: Vastina’s Story

The afternoon sun warms the dirt yard outside Vastina’s home as she claps her hands, leading her six children in a lively counting song. Christine, her daughter, sways gently beside her, face alight with joy.

Just a year ago, Vastina struggled to support Christine and provide for her needs. Christine was born with a disability that has affected her development and has limited her from fully participating in family and community life. The harmful social stigma around disability and extreme poverty in Vastina’s community made it difficult for her to access the support that she and Christine needed. Stressed by the need to earn a living and support Christine and her other children, Vastina began to feel hopeless.

Thankfully, Vastina found support from parent educators and fellow parents through Play To Grow program, a program that builds parents’ confidence and skills in supporting their children’s learning and development at home. With people to turn to for help and ideas and a renewed sense of self-belief, Vastina has overcome some of the challenges she faced and build stronger bonds with Christine and her other children.

A Hidden Struggle

Vastina and her family live in Isingiro, a refugee settlement in western Uganda. Many families here have been forced to flee violence in their home countries. Many families live in poverty, without access to basic services, and finding specialized support for children with disabilities is difficult.

For years, raising Christine and her five other children felt overwhelming for Vastina. Earning enough income to support the family is challenging, and financial difficulties created tension in the home. Christine is nonverbal and has limited mobility; meeting her needs without support has been tough. Struggling under the weight of extreme poverty, societal stigma, and a lack of support, Vastina felt isolated and ashamed. In a community where children with disabilities are often undervalue, and survival depends on every family member contributing, she simply did not know how to cope.

“I did not know how to help Christine,” Vastina admits. The strain deepened family stresses, leaving Vastina resentful. She remembers difficult conversations with her husband in which they questioned their ability to properly support Christine.

Things started to change when teachers from a nearby primary school introduced Vastina to Right To Play’s Play To Grow program, which is funded by the LEGO Foundation. Play To Grow equips parents with tools to build bonds with their children and nurture their social-emotional skills, literacy, and numeracy through play.  In refugee contexts like Isingiro, the program also helps parents address trauma and stress that may affect their parenting and home life. Play To Grow is aimed at parents of children aged three to six, but the lessons that parents learn in the program benefit all children in a family. A program evaluation found that 87% of caregivers adopted positive parenting attitudes after completing the program.

Vastina was selected to be in the first cohort of the program. She joined sessions that taught new ways of parenting. For example, instead of using harsh discipline, which is the norm in many homes, the program valued empathy, encouragement, and the freeing and connecting power of play.

While she was skeptical at first, the program and the support of the community of parents and parent educators quickly became a lifeline for Vastina. “They reminded me that every child deserves love.”

A Shift in Perspective

Vastina’s journey began with small steps. At first, the idea that play—something she had always seen as a luxury—could be critical to a child’s development was hard to believe. But as facilitators demonstrated how play could teach patience, communication, and even hygiene, her skepticism turned to curiosity.

Her view of herself as a mother and of her relationship with Christine began to shift. With every meeting, a new understanding began to replace the resentment and hardship that had once ruled her family life.

“I learned that Christine is not a burden,” she says quietly. “She is a child that's full of potential.”

Before, Vastina and Christine would mostly spend time indoors because Vastina did not know how to play with Christine outdoors. But now, Vastina prioritizes spending time with Christine outdoors, singing to her, basking in the sun, and using other simple play activities to strengthen her bond with Christine and support her development. “When I sang to her and saw her smile, I knew things had changed,” she says.

In the evenings, Vastina and her children now gather for songs, rope skipping, and storytelling. Even her husband—once distant and angry—has been joining in. “Now, when we cook or clean, we sing together,” she says. Vastina has also learned to channel her emotions constructively, no longer passing her frustrations onto her children. “Our home is peaceful for the first time.”

Vastina sees the magic of play reflected in her six-year-old daughter Violet, who builds toy houses from mud and reeds, and makes dolls and cars using banana fibres, inventing entire worlds through imagination as she channels her creativity and learns problem-solving skills through play. “Now I know my children are learning through play, and I guide and encourage them every step of the way,” Vastina says proudly.

A Ripple Effect in the Community

The change has extended beyond Vastina’s home and into the community. Vastina now intervenes when she sees other parents falling into the same patterns she once followed. When she saw a neighbour struggling with anger toward her child, Vastina stepped in gently.

“I shared what I had learned—that showing love makes a child strong,” she says. Vastina advised the mother that positive guidance would build a lasting bond with her child, whereas harsh punishment would only create resentment. Her bravery inspired other parents watching nearby, and soon, several mothers asked how they could attend the Play To Grow program, too.

“Let this program reach more families like mine,” she says. “It brings light where there was only darkness.”

The Play To Grow program is funded by the LEGO Foundation and implemented by Right To Play. It empowers parents in refugee communities in Uganda to support their children's early learning and development through play.